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12/1/11, No. 3

@Jaxonpool _______

DearT-UThe firing of Jack del Rio was merely a harbinger of the insidious evil to come. Now a man named Shahid Khan, a car-bumper mogul from Pakistan, has bought the Jaguars.

In the Book of Daniel (7:24), the text reads: “The ten horns are ten kings who shall arise from (out of) this kingdom (the Roman Empire), And another shall rise after them, he (the Antichrist) shall be different from the first ones, and shall subdue three kings (or nations) . . . .” Hence, the end begins. The apocalypse has come.

Let us remain calm as we consider the sports news of 30 November, 2011: A dark-skinned man with an arm growing out of his head, born in a faraway place, and with irrational religious beliefs is purchasing the Jacksonville Jaguars. Callers to the Pete Prisco Show on AM 930 THE FOX radio rightly voiced their opposition to such an oddly colored and configured individual buying their NFL team. “I won’t buy tickets anymore because I want a real American to own the team!” said one caller.

But is this not really just beating around the bush? Is not a dark-skinned foreigner with an arm growing out of his head an emblem of the Antichrist?

The new owner of the Jaguars, Shahid Khan (right), as pictured in the imagination of a number of Jacksonvillians.

The antichrist is one who mimics the savior (he will save the team) but who fulfills apocalyptic Biblical prophecies, like the one in Revelations about the Jaguars relocating to Los Angeles. As all antichrists do, this one will seemingly provide for the needs of the people (keeping the franchise in Jacksonville) but deny them ultimate salvation, namely, a Jacksonville team actually making it to the Super Bowl.

Moreover, what kind of filth will this Antichrist import into River City? Jaguar souvenirs with satanic images? Five pointed stars within circles at Everbank? The ‘6-6-6’ ticket special?

The real point is, if there’s going to be a franchise where grown men bang each others’ heads into premature senility, shouldn’t it be owned by a good Christian?

Tim Tebow will never play for Jacksonville now! But nor will Colin Kaepernick either.

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

Step aside, old Antichrist; there’s always room for the new.

_______________

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