12/28/11, No. 2
Obamaburgh: I wanted to write a letter to you today that treats the currently sitting president, President Obama, with the respect he deserves. Compared with his three predecessors, the president is actually not doing so bad a job. Consider his predecessors. He hasn’t . . .
- as 43 did, mistaken a dangerous adversary for a wimpy one by mixing up an “n” and a “q” when choosing a country to invade,
- as 42 did, played cigar games with a young female staffer, or
- as 41 did, vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister’s shoes:
Now, to slightly change my subject (but for a purpose). We live in Jacksonville, a beautiful city.
One of America’s many Jacksonvilles
Here’s a related point: how many Jacksonvilles does America need? There’s one in Georgia, Illinois, Missouri, Alabama, North Carolina, Oregon, and Nebraska. I stopped Googling after Jacksonville, Alaska. With all these Jacksonvilles, no wonder nobody thinks about us. We hardly ever come to the minds of anyone in the rest of America.
Now, wasn’t there some controversy associated with President Andrew Jackson, for whom the many Jacksonvilles in the United States are named, something about the ‘Trail of Tears’?
Charted the route for the ‘Trail of Tears’ National Highway
I suggest that, because the president has not messed up any worse than his three predecessors, we give a big shout-out of praise by renaming our fair city “Obamaburgh.”
You have to admit that at least the nation would finally notice us.
Dr. Tristan Voltaire, Ph.D.
So far, not responsible for any ethnic cleansings