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12/2/11, No. 4

@Jaxonpool _______

DearT-UI am so glad I voted for Angela Corey when she ran for Florida State Attorney for the Fourth Judicial Circuit. Her predecessor, Harry Shorstein, would have turned a blind eye to this latest blot on Jacksonville.

John/Jane Doe, the as-yet ungendered and unborn offender.

As you know, yesterday, December 1st, 2011, Corey charged a fetus with first-degree murder. This is the youngest individual ever to be brought to account for such a serious crime, or any crime, not just in Jacksonville, but anywhere on earth. Thank goodness! Finally someone is doing something about the terrible state of the world.

Here is how the crime unfolded. While dizygotic twins were residing in utereo, one of them allegedly kicked its twin to death, causing the miscarriage of the latter.

“Talk about a ‘bad seed!’” said Corey at a press conference. “We cannot allow the individual this fetus is going to become to kill again.” Corey went on to say that “It will not be coddled,” using the gender-neutral pronoun “it” because the alleged offender’s sex is yet to be determined. (An ultrasound has not been performed.) The Florida Times-Union struggled to come up with a front-page headline, not knowing whether to label the misdeed a fratricide, soroicide, or siblicide.

AP photo of Angela Corey

Corey at press conference in which she announced the indictment of John/Jane Doe.

Corey announced that she and Sheriff John Rutherford will be waiting in the deliver room in a few weeks when the baby is delivered by C-section. After the delivery, the infant will be taken into custody and sent to an adult detention facility to await trial. She intends to press forward with the law’s full force, demanding the miscreant spend the rest of its life in prison.

I am so grateful to have a conservative, tough-as-nails prosecutor occupying the office of State Attorney for the Fourth Judicial Circuit. No doubt if Corey had been on hand when Cain slew Abel, the human history that flowed from that first murder would have been less miserable. However, as we know, Cain got away, very likely because Corey was not there to see that the law was enforced. Still, we have a chance to create a better tomorrow by today nipping murder in the bud, literally.

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

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