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SUNDAY, 3/30/13, Issue 77

@Jaxonpool _______

LB_red%22Dear%22The eternal sunshine of Kona erased: History is bunk,” said Henry Ford.  And so are memories.  That’s why we should erase historical sites such as Kona Skatepark in Arlington.  These places not only dredge up the past, but they allow it to fester.  In the law of torts, historical landmarks are attractive nuisances.
Kona skate park

Erasing Kona would result in one less landmark sparking bad memories, one less attractive nuisance instigating new births.  “Those who do not know history’s mistakes are doomed to repeat it,” warned George Santayana.  So what is the lesson I wish to impart today to your readers?  Nothing much, except that we are doomed.  Unless we act now.

For several generations, Kona has been leading Jaxonpudlians to their doom.  Your paper’s Matt Soergel reports that this menace first sprang up in 1977: Kona Skatepark timeline  And Wikipedia verifies that Kona is one of the longest-running skateboard parks in the United States: Skatepark

Kona's homepage

Kona’s homepage

Over the decades, teenage girls have gone to the skatepark to meet shirtless, sweaty boys, who, at first, are oblivious of their presence as they pump around the park’s curved walls.  At some point though they take note.  And once they do, they use cool moves to woo the girls.  Some of these young people eventually form into couples.  The couples then have babies.  Soon Kona—with its jumps, half pipes, and vertical drops—is forgotten amidst the diapers.  Time goes by, and the couples break up.  A decade elapses, and the babies of these broken relationships grow into adolescents.  They go to Kona.

These offspring of the original generation form their own relationships with the people they meet there.  Then they have babies.  Next they have diapers.  Soon they forget Kona.  Finally these new parents break up.  It’s a story as old as time itself.  Einstein’s definition of insanity isdoing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  What is the lesson we are to glean from this?  That Kona epitomizes insanity..

How will this cycle be broken?  By erasing Kona.  But how?  There are lobotomies, of course, but then, there’s also Lacuna Incorporated:.

Alternative link

Now, instead of stopping the cycle, some people want to speedup it up by building a private middle and high school associated with the Kona site.  A skateboard park and a school—that’s a double whammy!  After all, schools are the main problem!  More relationships form in schools than anywhere else.  They’re nests for further infestation.

Kona Skatepark

At ONE SPARK, the school’s well-intentioned, but misguided founders hope to raise funds to get their school started.  But at the Kona School, the same things will happen that occurred at Kona Skatepark, just more so, because it’s both a skateboard park and a school.  Boys will meet girls.  Girls will meet boys.  People will form relationships.  Babies will be born.  Faster and faster will turn the wheel.  And thus will be forfeited yet another opportunity to break the vicious cycle.

Alternative link

Lacuna Incorporated has the right idea.

Alternative link

Mark Twain once said, “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”  If the Kona school gets funding through ONE SPARK, there’ll be WAY too much rhyming.  So, we must act now, before more babies are conceived!  Otherwise, the next generation’s just going to do it all over again.  They’re going to go to the skate park.  And give it another go round...

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

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