4/11/14, No. 93
TebowPhones at One Spark: I’m writing about the product I’m promoting at One Spark. Everybody today is hawking expensive headphones. I intend to enter the premium headphone market with “TebowPhones.” Someone wearing them will be saying to the world, “I care more about being blessed than about music.” They’ll only come in white. Vote for TebowPhones, No. 66666
How will I advertise TebowPhones to distinguish them from competitors? They will present a positive, wholesome alternative to what currently is on the market. Some headphone promotions entice buyers to go over to the dark side..
With others, the elements of the devil’s seduction are explicit:
In a dark world, TebowPhones offer a Godly alternative:
With TebowPhones, the righteous will stand out from the crowd:
“He who weareth TebowPhones stands foremost in the sound of the Lord” (King James Bible, Luke 24.54).
Most importantly, TebowPhones allow the wearer not only to receive special messages from God, but also to listen to the music of the spheres..
Holding One Spark in Jacksonville makes this crowd-funding source ideal for my product. So, as I said, vote for No. 66666.
The One Spark organizers describe its mission this way: “One Spark started with the belief that game-changers emerge from dorm rooms, garages and small studios—where great ideas develop.”
My inspiration for TebowPhones came while I was sitting on the toilet. In that I’m in profound company. Martin Luther got the idea to post ninety-five theses on the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg while on das Klo, as the Germans say. Luther affirmed that the idea came from God.
Martin Luther, constipated game changer
It’s important to attach Tebow’s name to my premium headphones. In the world of free enterprise, style and name can trump decent product any day. In Rio on the River, the Tebow name carries caché. Jacksonvillians may snap them up, but among people elsewhere, not so much.
So, vote for TebowPhones, No. 66666
Retail: $899.95. (I know the price sounds cheap, but they’re good quality. And Tebow’s name is on them!)