MONDAY, 7/15/13, Issue 147

@Jaxonpool _______

violent_crawleyShahid Khan commits sports bigamy:  Less than two years after buying the Jaguars, Shahid Khan expanded his sports footprint into Europe last Friday. For $200 million he purchased the London-based Fulham Football Club of the English Premier League. No one could deny it was a brazen act of sports bigamy.

Shahid Khan

Shahid Khan

Upon hearing the news, an anonymous city official said, “We’re shocked! No one at city hall—not myself, not the city council, and not Wayne Weaver—ever dreamed he would become interested in someone else.”

Facebook“We thought we were the only one,” Mayor Alvin Brown is reported to have said. “It’s a story we all think could never happen to us. Now, the question is, what do we do to keep the man we love? And the answer is: ANYTHING!” Usually incidents of bigamy are discovered accidentally: Bigamist busted: Alan O’Neill’s first wife discovers second wife when Facebook suggests her as possible friend

However, Khan’s bigamous act was announced at a press conference.

bigamistA pall now hangs over Jaxonpool as its citizens grasp that their city is not Khan’s only love. “How can we compete with London,” asked a city council member preferring not to be named, “even if it is just Fulham?” After the news broke, copies of The Bigamist: The True Story of a Husband’s Ultimate Betrayal started flying off Amazon’s warehouse shelves to Jaxonpool destinations.


Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s