SUNDAY, 7/14/13, Issue 146:

@Jaxonpool _______

violent_crawleyFox News hires George Zimmerman


George Zimmerman

Following the jury’s acquittal late last night of George Zimmerman in the killing of Trayvon Martin, Fox News Channel announced that it will hire the self-proclaimed neighborhood watch volunteer as a commentator.

Zimmerman’s assignments will include race relations in the United States, gated communities, second amendment gun rights, and black teenagers wearing hoodies.


Oliver North

The acquisition of Zimmerman for the news team follows a long line of Fox News Channel hirings going back to Watergate burglar G. Gordon Liddy.  Liddy was sentenced to 20 years in prison; however, after having served only four-and-a-half years, President Carter commuted his sentence.  Oliver North came into the public spotlight as a result of his participation in the Iran-Contra Affair, a political scandal that deeply embarrassed the Reagan Administration.  North was sentenced to a three-year suspended prison term, two years’ probation, $150,000 in fines, and 1,200 hours community service.

In hiring Zimmerman, Fox News CEO Roger Ailes—media consultant to numerous Republican candidates—acknowledged that usually it is better for the channel to hire people who have been convicted of a crime.  However, with Zimmerman, Fox is getting something even better:  “Everyone knows he’s guilty of manslaughter,” Ailes allegedly said.  “But knowing he got away with it makes him an even more valuable media commodity.  He beat the system.  Our viewers will respect that.  And they’ll really appreciate that he killed a black man.  Celebrity killers not in jail are hard to come by.”


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One thought on “Fox News hires George Zimmerman

  1. I understand that occasional Fox contributor G. Gordon Liddy will join Zimmerman and Oliver North on a new panel show to compete with CNN’s Crossfire relaunch.

    “Collateral Damages,” and “Accidental Discharges” were the working titles.


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