SATURDAY, 7/13/13, Issue 145
@Jaxonpool _______
State Legislature accidentally bans headlights
Noon
When Deleónsylvania lawmakers voted in 2012 to make it legal to flash high beams at oncoming drivers to warn of police speed traps, the bill was so poorly worded it effectively outlawed the use of headlights. The fine is $200.
Twilight
Before the law’s enactment, alerting drivers about cops ahead pulling cars over was considered obstruction of justice.
Midnight
A spokesperson for the Deleónsylvania Highway Patrol (DHP) states that since 2005 more than 10,000 drivers were cited for flashing their brights. Many of them had to pay a $175 ticket.
Gov. Goldfinger
In April, 2012, when Deleónsylvania Governor Goldfinger approved lifting the ban on flashing high beams, he said that changing current law will help bring jobs to Deleónsylvania. “As you know,” he reiterated, “I’m the jobs governor. And, by the way, I grew up in a housing project.”
However, according to the Miami Herald and the Tampa Bay Times, shortly after the new law took effect on January 1st, 2013, a legal team found that it was so hastily worded that it essentially does not lift the ban on using headlights, but instead imposes a fine for turning them on.
Julia Jones, current executive director of the DHP, says that, until the legislature clears up its mistake, the highway patrol will have no choice but to enforce the law as it stands. 
Consequently, the DHP will be pulling drivers over for turning on their headlights, even if it is midnight. “I hope that the governor, state senate and house of representatives can address this problem expeditiously,” said Jones.
This news comes on the heels of a report a day earlier that the legislature last year accidentally banned every computer in the state. It did so when it hastily passed a measure outlawing slot machines in Internet cafes. Florida Accidentally Banned All Computers, Smart Phones In The State Through Internet Cafe Ban: Lawsuit
deer in headlights
The only group to praise the new measure outlawing headlights was Sierra Club Florida. “This groundbreaking legislation,” said a spokesperson, “annually will save the lives of dozens of deer.”
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August’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli. Watch & listen
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Smart Ass Cripple: Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010, by Mike Ervin. Read
Panned Review: Film reviews by Jacob Lusk. Read
Calvin’s Story: Epilepsy & beyond: a mother’s journal, by Christy Shake. Read
Maggie World, Normalizing the abnormal, by Sally Coghlan McDonald. Read
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On the Blink: Considering how my light is spent, by Emily Michael. Read
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