SUNDAY, 4/21/13, Issue 80
TebowPhones @ 1 Spark: I’m writing about the product I’m promoting at One Spark. Everybody today is hawking expensive headphones. I intend to enter the premium headphone market with “TebowPhones.” Someone wearing them will be saying to the world, “I care more about being blessed than about the music.” They’ll only come in white. So, vote for TebowPhones, #1,272. Now it’s just a matter of you getting there and voting..
How will I advertise TebowPhones to distinguish them from competitors? They will present a positive, wholesome alternative to what currently is on the market. Some headphone promotions entice buyers to go over to the dark side..
With others, the elements of the devil’s seduction are more explicit:
In a dark world, TebowPhones offer a Godly alternative:
With TebowPhones, the righteous will stand out from the crowd:
“He who weareth TebowPhones stands foremost in the sound of the Lord” (King James Bible, Luke 24.54).
Most importantly, TebowPhones allow the wearer not only to receive special messages from God, but also to listen to the music of the spheres..
One Source is a crowdsourcing event that will give away $250,000. Holding it in Jaxonpool makes it ideal for my product. So, as I said, what’s important is you getting there and voting. #1,272.
The One Spark organizers describe its mission this way: “One Spark started with the belief that game-changers emerge from dorm rooms, garages and small studios—where great ideas develop.”
My inspiration for TebowPhones came while I was sitting on the toilet. In that I’m in profound company. Martin Luther got the idea to post ninety-five theses on the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg while on das Klo, as the Germans say. Luther said the idea came from God.
Martin Luther, constipated game changer
It’s important to attach Tebow’s name to my premium headphones. In the world of free enterprise, style and name can trump decent product any day. In Rio on the River, the Tebow name carries caché. Unfortunately, this is not so true in New York City..
What if New York Jets were to release him? It won’t matter in Jaxonpool that he’s not getting there. He could be scooping up dog poop at the humane society, and Jaxonpudlians still will line up and pay big bucks for TebowPhones. That’s the wisdom of the market. When it comes to crowdfunding, putting Tebow’s name on a project will assure victory. So, that $250,000? Come to papa! #1,272.
With this product roll out, it’s possible timing will be a factor. Jaxonpudlians may snap them up, but among people outside Norflaland, not so much. So if I can get the product out before the Jets release him, the potential market will be bigger. Afterward, the sales’ll be strictly local.
Two of Tebow’s pious admirers.
One last thing: after Tebow’s release by the Jets, I won’t have to cut him in so much on the deal. After all, where’s he going to go? What’s he going to do? Play for the Canadian Football League? Play in Godless, socialist Europe? My TebowPhones’ deal will look good to him. I’ll be able to set the terms.
Now, please go to the One Spark and register your support. Vote here for TebowPhones
Vote for TebowPhones, #1,272.
Retail: $899.95. (I know the price sounds cheap, but they’re good quality.)
August’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli. Watch & listen
Smart Ass Cripple: Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010, by Mike Ervin. Read
Panned Review: Film reviews by Jacob Lusk. Read
Calvin’s Story: Epilepsy & beyond: a mother’s journal, by Christy Shake. Read
Maggie World, Normalizing the abnormal, by Sally Coghlan McDonald. Read
On the Blink: Considering how my light is spent, by Emily Michael. Read