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SUNDAY, 4/21/13, Issue 80

@Jaxonpool _______

LB_red%22Dear%22TebowPhones @ 1 Spark:  I’m writing about the product I’m promoting at One Spark.  Everybody today is hawking expensive headphones.  I intend to enter the premium headphone market with “TebowPhones.”  Someone wearing them will be saying to the world, “I care more about being blessed than about the music.”  They’ll only come in white.  So, vote for TebowPhones, #1,272.  Now it’s just a matter of you getting there and voting..

beats-by-dr-dre-headphone

Step aside, Dr. Dre, make way for TebowPhones

How will I advertise TebowPhones to distinguish them from competitors?  They will present a positive, wholesome alternative to what currently is on the market.  Some headphone promotions entice buyers to go over to the dark side..

Negative image--woman wearing headphones

Negative image–woman wearing headphones

With others, the elements of the devil’s seduction are more explicit:

red headphones against black backdrop

red headphones against black backdrop

In a dark world, TebowPhones offer a Godly alternative:

white headphones against a black backdrop

white headphones against a black backdrop .

With TebowPhones, the righteous will stand out from the crowd:

Wearer of TebowPhones stands foremost int he light of God

“He who weareth TebowPhones stands foremost in the sound of the Lord” (King James Bible, Luke 24.54).

manikin head wearing TebowPhones

Wearing TebowPhones is like having a halo

Most importantly, TebowPhones allow the wearer not only to receive special messages from God, but also to listen to the music of the spheres..

Image of the universe producing the music of the spheres *10

Image of the universe producing the music of the spheres

One Source is a crowdsourcing event that will give away $250,000.  Holding it in Jaxonpool makes it ideal for my product.  So, as I said, what’s important is you getting there and voting.  #1,272.

One Spark promo
One Spark is for creators

The One Spark organizers describe its mission this way: “One Spark started with the belief that game-­changers emerge from dorm rooms, garages and small studios—where great ideas develop.”

My inspiration for TebowPhones came while I was sitting on the toilet.  In that I’m in profound company.  Martin Luther got the idea to post ninety-five theses on the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg while on das Klo, as the Germans say.  Luther said the idea came from God.

Martin Luther

Martin Luther, constipated game changer

It’s important to attach Tebow’s name to my premium headphones. In the world of free enterprise, style and name can trump decent product any day.  In Rio on the River, the Tebow name carries caché.  Unfortunately, this is not so true in New York City..

What if New York Jets were to release him?  It won’t matter in Jaxonpool that he’s not getting there.  He could be scooping up dog poop at the humane society, and Jaxonpudlians still will line up and pay big bucks for TebowPhones.  That’s the wisdom of the market. When it comes to crowdfunding, putting Tebow’s name on a project will assure victory.  So, that $250,000?  Come to papa!  #1,272.

With this product roll out, it’s possible timing will be a factor.  Jaxonpudlians may snap them up, but among people outside Norflaland, not so much.  So if I can get the product out before the Jets release him, the potential market will be bigger.  Afterward, the sales’ll be strictly local.

Two women with sign: "Tim, You put the stud in Bible Study"

Two women with sign: “Tim, You put the stud in Bible Study” *1

Two of Tebow’s pious admirers.

One last thing: after Tebow’s release by the Jets, I won’t have to cut him in so much on the deal.  After all, where’s he going to go?  What’s he going to do?  Play for the Canadian Football League?  Play in Godless, socialist Europe?  My TebowPhones’ deal will look good to him.  I’ll be able to set the terms.

Now, please go to the One Spark and register your support.  Vote here for TebowPhones

Vote for TebowPhones, #1,272.

Retail: $899.95.  (I know the price sounds cheap, but they’re good quality.)

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

_______________

pic7 copyAugust’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli.  Watch & listen

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crip2Smart Ass Cripple: Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010, by Mike Ervin.   Read

pannedPanned Review: Film reviews by Jacob Lusk.  Read

calvinsstoryCalvin’s Story: Epilepsy & beyond: a mother’s journal, by Christy Shake.  Read

MaggieWorldMaggie World, Normalizing the abnormal, by Sally Coghlan McDonald. Read

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OnTheBlink On the Blink: Considering how my light is spent, by Emily Michael.  Read

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