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FRIDAY, 7/27/12, Issue 54

@Jaxonpool _______

DearT-U(2)Dolls ‘look like me’:  It’s not like I have a dog in this fight. After all, I just figured out it’s not okay to have two girlfriends. But I know enough about the subject to realize that people who look like American Girl Dolls don’t engage in “relationships like that,” to borrow Jennifer Carroll’s phrasing. American Girl Dolls are chaste and heterosexual. They wait until marriage. And after they marry, they only engage in intimacy with their husbands for procreative purposes. That’s what being an American Girl Doll means..

Addy, one of many American Girl Dolls

Deónsylvania Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll looks like an American Girl Doll. Or at least, she thinks she does. And maybe she does. Sort of. Bigger. American Girl Dolls are only about a foot tall. And she’s a good five-and-one-half feet. And a bit more animated. In fact, much more. But is she an American Girl Doll? I don’t know. Who am I to judge.

Carroll on camera denying she is a lesbian (1)

Anyway, her former aide, Carletha Cole, says she saw Carroll and another aide, Beatriz Ramos, in a compromising position in the lieutenant governor’s office. You can read about Cole’s allegations concerning Carroll here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/jennifer-carroll-lesbian-black-women-look-like-me_n_1676937.html

I just can’t believe it. Carroll doesn’t look like a lesbian. In fact, no woman does. Why? Because lesbians don’t exist. They’re like leprechauns.Women only want to be with men. That’s a fact.It’s what God intended.On such matters, I’m of the same mind as Queen Victoria..

Queen Victoria

When the queen was shown proposed legislation in 1885 outlawing lesbianism, she refused to sign it, thinking it unnecessary. She is reported to have said, “Women do not do such things.” I’ve been told this story is apocryphal, but that’s no reason not to believe it. I’m sure the queen was right. And that’s why I believe Carroll. Women, or at least women like her, do not do such things. Because if they did, they wouldn’t exist..

Carroll excitedly denying the charge (2)

Carroll responded to Cole’s charge by saying that “black women who look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Hear hear! says Queen Victoria.

Carroll giggling nervously as she denies the charge (3)

But why need I defend her. Carroll is capable of denying the charges herself, in her own words. And doing it convincingly. Check it out for yourself (ad takes about 10 seconds; hit the back button when finished): http://bcove.me/pouj5r9q I believe her. Don’t you?

But you know, maybe there’s something about American Girl Dolls I don’t understand. I thought I had them figured out. I thought they were pure. I thought they were virtuous. I thought they were abstemious. But apparently, I’m wrong:

Is everything I know wrong? Am I going to have to go through a dark night of the soul? Am I going to have to question everything? What else have I been wrong about? Leprechauns? Lesbians? Carroll? Hmmm. . . . What else . . . Having two girlfriends? Is it still possible?

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

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pic7 copyAugust’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli. Watch & listen

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crip2Smart Ass Cripple: Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010, by Mike Ervin. Read

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The Field Negro, by Wain Bennett. Read

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brainBrain Pickings: by Maria Popova. Read

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ClioNursing Clio: Because the Personal is Historical. Read

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pannedPanned Review: Film reviews by Jacob Lusk. Read

calvinsstoryCalvin’s Story: Epilepsy & beyond: a mother’s journal, by Christy Shake. Read

MaggieWorldMaggie World, Normalizing the abnormal, by Sally Coghlan McDonald. Read

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OnTheBlink On the Blink: Considering how my light is spent, by Emily Michael. Read

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Everyday Dolce: Finding the dolce in everyday stories of life, love, and food, by Jamie Cornman. Read

Make Jax Weird_______

pic copyFiction Fix 16. A Jacksonville publication. Jayshiro Tashiro, “Birds in the City” / Cathleen Calbert, “Man Loves Woman Loves Dog” / Amando Paulger, “In the Hands of God” / Van G. Garrett, “Piss and Vinegar” / Di Jayawickrema, “Kirkenes, Norway” / Josh Lamstein, “Cooties” / Meeah Williams, “The Taste of Strawberries Today” / Glenn Erick Miller, “Essence” / Edward Hagelstein, “The Peespot Players.” Read

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pic2 copyEat Poems #9. Audio chapbooks–Poets in, around, and from Jax. Virus Conversations, by Michele Leavitt. Pub: Mark Ari. Leavett’s collection Back East won the Michael Macklin First Book Prize in 2013, & her memoir excerpt “No Trespassing” won The Ohio State University’s 2010 William Allen Award for creative nonfiction. Listen

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Mudlark: an electronic journal of poetry and poetics. Published by Dr. William Slaughter, Professor Emeritus of UNF’s English department. Read

Free-speech zone_______

jaxleftThe Jaxleft Channel, from George Farrar. Jax Left homepage View

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PF copyProgress Florida: Read

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