FRIDAY, 7/27/12, Issue 54
Dolls ‘look like me’: It’s not like I have a dog in this fight. After all, I just figured out it’s not okay to have two girlfriends. But I know enough about the subject to realize that people who look like American Girl Dolls don’t engage in “relationships like that,” to borrow Jennifer Carroll’s phrasing. American Girl Dolls are chaste and heterosexual. They wait until marriage. And after they marry, they only engage in intimacy with their husbands for procreative purposes. That’s what being an American Girl Doll means..
Deónsylvania Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll looks like an American Girl Doll. Or at least, she thinks she does. And maybe she does. Sort of. Bigger. American Girl Dolls are only about a foot tall. And she’s a good five-and-one-half feet. And a bit more animated. In fact, much more. But is she an American Girl Doll? I don’t know. Who am I to judge.
Anyway, her former aide, Carletha Cole, says she saw Carroll and another aide, Beatriz Ramos, in a compromising position in the lieutenant governor’s office. You can read about Cole’s allegations concerning Carroll here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/jennifer-carroll-lesbian-black-women-look-like-me_n_1676937.html
I just can’t believe it. Carroll doesn’t look like a lesbian. In fact, no woman does. Why? Because lesbians don’t exist. They’re like leprechauns.Women only want to be with men. That’s a fact.It’s what God intended.On such matters, I’m of the same mind as Queen Victoria..
When the queen was shown proposed legislation in 1885 outlawing lesbianism, she refused to sign it, thinking it unnecessary. She is reported to have said, “Women do not do such things.” I’ve been told this story is apocryphal, but that’s no reason not to believe it. I’m sure the queen was right. And that’s why I believe Carroll. Women, or at least women like her, do not do such things. Because if they did, they wouldn’t exist..
Carroll responded to Cole’s charge by saying that “black women who look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Hear hear! says Queen Victoria.
But why need I defend her. Carroll is capable of denying the charges herself, in her own words. And doing it convincingly. Check it out for yourself (ad takes about 10 seconds; hit the back button when finished): http://bcove.me/pouj5r9q I believe her. Don’t you?
But you know, maybe there’s something about American Girl Dolls I don’t understand. I thought I had them figured out. I thought they were pure. I thought they were virtuous. I thought they were abstemious. But apparently, I’m wrong:
Is everything I know wrong? Am I going to have to go through a dark night of the soul? Am I going to have to question everything? What else have I been wrong about? Leprechauns? Lesbians? Carroll? Hmmm. . . . What else . . . Having two girlfriends? Is it still possible?
August’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli. Watch & listen
Smart Ass Cripple: Expressing pain through sarcasm since 2010, by Mike Ervin. Read
The Field Negro, by Wain Bennett. Read
Brain Pickings: by Maria Popova. Read
Nursing Clio: Because the Personal is Historical. Read
Panned Review: Film reviews by Jacob Lusk. Read
Calvin’s Story: Epilepsy & beyond: a mother’s journal, by Christy Shake. Read
Maggie World, Normalizing the abnormal, by Sally Coghlan McDonald. Read
On the Blink: Considering how my light is spent, by Emily Michael. Read
Everyday Dolce: Finding the dolce in everyday stories of life, love, and food, by Jamie Cornman. Read
Make Jax Weird_______
Fiction Fix 16. A Jacksonville publication. Jayshiro Tashiro, “Birds in the City” / Cathleen Calbert, “Man Loves Woman Loves Dog” / Amando Paulger, “In the Hands of God” / Van G. Garrett, “Piss and Vinegar” / Di Jayawickrema, “Kirkenes, Norway” / Josh Lamstein, “Cooties” / Meeah Williams, “The Taste of Strawberries Today” / Glenn Erick Miller, “Essence” / Edward Hagelstein, “The Peespot Players.” Read
Eat Poems #9. Audio chapbooks–Poets in, around, and from Jax. Virus Conversations, by Michele Leavitt. Pub: Mark Ari. Leavett’s collection Back East won the Michael Macklin First Book Prize in 2013, & her memoir excerpt “No Trespassing” won The Ohio State University’s 2010 William Allen Award for creative nonfiction. Listen
Mudlark: an electronic journal of poetry and poetics. Published by Dr. William Slaughter, Professor Emeritus of UNF’s English department. Read
The Jaxleft Channel, from George Farrar. Jax Left homepage View
Progress Florida: Read