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TUESDAY, 3/20/12, Issue 29

@Jaxonpool _______

LB_red%22Dear%22The political proctologist:  You probably ask, “Aren’t you embarrassed to have the public read your letters? Aren’t you ashamed of appearing to be a fool? Don’t you worry about coming across as a sociopath?” To which I say, “Have you read the letters you publish?”

A particularly representative one recently appeared on your opinion page. It was composed by Dr. Frank Healey, a Jaxonpool proctologist. I can only hope to emulate it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

A proctologist is a doctor specializing in diseases of the rectum and anus. I have always wondered what the rest of the world looks like when one is perched high up in there. I imagine it would be like that famous New Yorker cover,

NewYorker1976-03-29cover

the difference being that, instead of looking out at the great prospect of America from 9th Avenue in NYC, one surveys the world from high up in the fundament.

Thanks to Healey’s letter, a new grand vista has spread out before me. He has opened my eyes. It has taken a proctologist to make me see.

Surely you remember the letter you published just a few days ago from Frank Healey, on March 1st, 2012: Obama’s Apologies: Totally Wrong

“Totally wrong” takes Obama to task for apologizing “to the Afghan government for the burning of the Quran.” The apology, Healey asserts,

“confirms this administration’s warped and pathetic opinion of the role of the U.S.”

Amen, Dr. Healey! Next comes letter’s crown jewel:

In my view, not enough Iraqis and Afghanis died.”

Like me, he no doubt ascribes to the tenets of The Sociopath’s Manifesto, which, on page 45, reads, “When all is said and done, never enough people die. For the world has too many people. As sociopaths, we help solve that problem.” Still, Healey’s statement begs the question: how many Iraqis and Afghanis should die? Only prayer and fasting can yield an answer.

And the answer is (as it always is, when consulting The Sociopath’s Manifesto) . . . AS MANY AS POSSIBLE.

Because I hate Afghanis and Iraqis as much as Dr. Healey does, I lean toward annihilating the maximum number. Back in the Good Ol’ Days, we used to be able to speak openly about wanting to commit mass murder, about nuking people out of existence—eliminating entire nations—that we didn’t like. Nations like Iran. I pity our country that we no longer can express a healthy desire to see whole nations exterminated “from the face of the earth,” to borrow a phrase from Genesis, chapter 6.

Then comes his letter’s grand finale: “America apologies to no one.”

Healey once more is drawing inspiration from The Sociopath’s Manifesto, where, on page 247, it reads, “A true sociopath never apologizes.” But Obama—obviously not one of us, by which I mean, a sociopath—apologized once again, this time to the relatives of the sixteen Afghan villagers whom Sgt. Robert Bales massacred on March 11th. Nine were young children. The sergeant was merely implementing the agenda the doctor articulated ten days earlier in his letter to you, namely (to reiterate what the good doctor said):

“In my view, not enough Iraqis and Afghanis died.”

In other words, Bales was trying to solve the problem Healey identified.

Providing readers with much-needed profundities from the fundament, Dr. Healey no doubt will compose another letter to you, this time expressing his outrage that Obama apologized to the parents of the children Bales murdered. He’ll write, “Has the president no shame? Has he no decency?” He’ll repeat himself by saying that this new apology

“confirms this administration’s warped and pathetic opinion of the role of the U.S.”

Hear hear! Dr. Healey is in the right place to raise such issues, for, truly, his is the voice coming from the final section of the large intestine, terminating at the anus.

Robert-Bales-deranged

Sergeant Robert Bales

So, you ask, “Aren’t you embarrassed by the letters you write? Aren’t you afraid of looking like a fool? Or—far worse—a sociopath?” To which I respond: I have gone through Dr. Healey’s letter, which you yourself published. His letter, I believe, answers the question better than I can.

In tomorrow’s letter to you, I will discuss the rise of the bleeding-heart sociopaths.

Sincerely,
Lemule Blogiver

_______________

pic7 copyAugust’s List: Recently published music videos, edited by Farinelli. Watch & listen

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